It's a Girl Thing
by StaraLaura
Summary: The girls of the clubhouse have something secretly planned, something they say that’ll help hamsters all over the world, that’ll manage to keep bonds and love strong, maybe even make new ones. There's only one problem: The boys. T to be safe.
1. A New Threat

I'm trying a different approach. Watch me fail! :D

Disclaimer: I forgot to post this onto a lot of stuff. I. Don't. Own. Hamtaro. Happy? I'm sure you're not because if I owned Hamtaro, I wouldn't have CANCELLED IT. But I heard rumors that it's coming back to Cartoon Network… And the song isn't mine either. That belongs to Jesse Lee.

**Summary: **The girls of the clubhouse have something secretly planned, something they say that'll help hamsters all over the world, that'll manage to keep bonds and love strong, maybe even make new ones. Pretty much everything is set and planned so nothing can go wrong! Little do they know the fatal obstacle in their way… The boys. And these dudes are determined to find out what's up, even if it'll kill 'em. **THIS WAS ORIGNALLY A ONE SHOT.**

**This story is dedicated to Theta Jones** and for becoming one of my closest friends on this site in just one half of a day. Even if this story has NO connection to him, I'm dedicating it to him. If you have a problem with that, that's too bad. You guys should SO check out his work, there's some really awesome stuff in there!

**It's a Girl Thing**

**Chapter 1:**

**A New Threat**

_We love romance and candle light_

_You like a cold beer,_

_We like a fine wine,_

_You hardly talk,_

_We can talk all night_

_You wanna fix it,_

_We just wanna cry_

_It's a girl thing-_

As the music blasted into the car, Bijou managed to catch just a few lyrics of what message the singer was trying to get across. Meanwhile, Maria sat with her shoulders slumped as her parents tried to shut off the music, smashing and pounding random buttons. Before the country song could continue, Maria's father finally managed to mute the radio, satisfied that they could stop the clamor. On the other hand, Maria's mother didn't exactly agree with him.

"Maria!" she snapped at her daughter. Maria nearly jumped out of her seatbelt and Bijou buried her face deeper into her lap, scared to death and ears ringing. "I thought I told you that you shouldn't listen to country!"

"I-I was just curious to hear what it sounded like. Laura said at school that some of them were kind of fun to listen to," Maria stuttered, tripping over the words at the harsh stare. Her mother rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something when her husband interrupted their quarrel.

"You know, it's not all that bad. Besides all of the drinking and making love parts."

Maria and Bijou somehow managed to look at each other out off the corner of their eyes, worry shining in them.

"_You_ will not encourage our daughter of such things," Maria's mother hissed and tossed her chin towards the steering wheel. "_You _are going to drive us to the pet store. Maria, put Bijou back into her pet carrier, I'm afraid that Princess is going to hurt her." Princess, Maria's dog, was in the front seat, her teeth bared as she growled at the hamster, sending icy chills down Bijou's spine.

"Yes, ma'am," Maria replied stiffly and reluctantly put Bijou back into her mini travel carrier. White clouds were slapped onto the blue background on the wood exterior, causing an unrealistic effect to make Bijou look like she was in the clouds. Despite the obvious pathetic concept, Bijou's head _was _in the clouds, just not the ones stuck onto her carrier. After hearing that song, the gears in her head furiously fired up, her eyes dawning closer and closer to realization. Finally, after the car had been parked and everyone was ready to go to the pet store, she felt like going across to the software shop next door, but Maria had already hoisted her carrier up, heaving her hamster into the pet shop.

***

"And zhat's vhat I zhink vee should do! For 'amsters all around zee world, don't you two zhink zat vee should get started on this project?" Bijou finished, a gleam of hope and pleading in her indigo eyes. Pashmina and Sandy exchanged an unsure glance and Pashmina faked a smile.

"I don't know, Bij," Pashmina sighed, fiddling with her scarf. Beside her, Sandy nodded solemnly. "This sounds like a lot of hard work. Besides, we don't know how we're supposed to create that-"

"Create what?" Hamtaro butted in, hurrying over to the girl's side of the table. Pashmina nearly fell off her seat, Sandy shot him a glare, Bijou slapped her forehead in distress, and Penelope looked from Bijou to Hamtaro and back in confusion.

"Hamtaro!" Sandy barked. "Do you mind? We're, like, talking about something important!"

"Oh, sorry," Hamtaro apologized quickly. His head seemed to perk up a little as he continued. "But I was thinking that we could play a game of Ham and Go Seek. You girls want to join?"

Bijou looked hurt. Her nose crinkled up in disgust, realizing that a ham boy who wanted to play a child's game thwarted her brilliant plan. Even if she blushed every time she saw Hamtaro, she couldn't help but feel like shoving him aside after he interrupted their secret, only for girls, meeting.

"Maybe later," Pashmina answered quickly, taking a quick glance of Bijou's angry gaze. "Why don't you boys just take off without us?"

"Okay, but tell us if you change your mi-"

" 'Amtaro! Just leave!" Bijou snapped, pointing a paw to the door.

Hamtaro, a little surprised at her rapid change of behavior, stuttered, "W-Well, we were going to play inside so-"

"Ookyoo, ookyoo!" Penelope squeaked, copying Bijou's expression and waving her arms madly through the air. Hamtaro jerked back a little, smile disappeared.

"Um, okay then. But it's raining outside," Hamtaro pointed out.

"You guys, can, like, play under the trees to you don't get wet," Sandy replied quickly, finally giving into Bijou's scheme. Plus, she was desperate for Hamtaro to leave them alone as was any other ham girl at the table.

"What if a cat comes around?" Hamtaro asked boldly, wondering why the girls became so different and… snappish at him.

"I'm sure zat you boys could avoid zee cat, _oui_?" Bijou pressed firmly, showing him a small smile. "You 'ave fought cats many times before, 'Amtaro. And a little rain can't get in zee way, can it?"

Hamtaro rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well, I guess you girls are right. Are you sure you don't wanna come, it sounds so much more fun when you put it that way. I mean, cats and rain, it sounds like an adventure to me!"

All four girls shook their head viciously and Hamtaro was shooed away before he could protest any longer. Stumbling his way back to the boys of the clubhouse, he sucked in a deep breath to tell them what he had just heard.

"Okay, so the girls don't want to play, but they want us to play outside," Hamtaro declared, managing to wear a bright smile.

"But isn't it raining outside?" Dexter asked timidly, cramming his head toward the door as if the water outside would flood into the clubhouse soon.

"And aren't cats out there?" Cappy wondered aloud.

Oxnard immediately starting breaking down, clutching his sunflower seed tighter to his chest. "Wha-wha… _What?! _C-Cats _and _rain? I don't want it to end like this, all I wanted was my sunflower seed, what did I do to deserve this?! WHAAAAAAA!!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Oxnard!" Boss ordered, slapping his paw onto the table. Each ham boy jumped into the air, fur standing on the back of their necks as the Boss's paw hit the table with a _smack. _"Cats don't even like rain, we can head out there just fine."

"Ha, that reminds me of this one joke," Howdy laughed. "Okay, so there's a cat and a dog sitting on a beach and the cat says to the dog-"

"Let's go outside," Dexter said quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of Howdy's little joke. Each ham boy nodded and rushed out the door, leaving Howdy laughing at the punch line.

"So, wasn't that funny?" Howdy hooted, slapping his knee and facing where the boys once were.

"Hilarious."

"Wha…?" Howdy turned towards Pashmina who spoke. His crush was supporting Penelope up, her ankle bulging out of its socket and the littlest ham girl was crying softly.

"Howdy, isn't it just _so _funny that Penelope tripped on her chair and twisted her ankle? It just splits my sides," Pashmina sneered in a sarcastic tone.

Howdy took one step back, grinding his teeth together. "Oh, geez, Pash, I'm sorry, I was telling this joke and the boys left to go play Ham and Go Seek-"

"You know zhere's more to life zhan just jokes and hide and seek!" Bijou sobbed, throwing her arms into the air. Pashmina and Sandy, once again, exchanged a worried look. Their friend had been so calm and sweet just yesterday, what could have caused her to change so drastically?

"Uh, yeah, Bijou, I know. It's not like I talk about jokes all of the time, heh heh…" Howdy chuckled dryly, moving his paw to the door. Maybe, just maybe, he could swing the door open in time before Bijou or Pashmina could wring his neck…

"Just go, Howdy!" the three older ham girls chorused, Pashmina setting Penelope back onto her feet. Howdy didn't need telling twice. He bolted out the door, panting down the tunnel towards the (sober) members waiting outside for him.

Once Howdy had torn his way through the clubhouse's winding paths and tunnels, he raced out underneath the tree. His tiny chest rapidly moved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. The others ran to the side of the tree that Howdy clutched to and stopped dead in their tracks at Howdy's face. Even his usual squinty eyes were wide open in fright. It looked as if he had just seen a ghost.

"H-Howdy? What's wrong with you?" Dexter asked, bewildered by his friend's expression.

"B-Bijou's a killer," Howdy gasped. "I saw it in her evil little eyes… She was going to eat me."

"Bijou?" Boss laughed. "A killer? C'mon, Howdy, that cat joke was worse to you than I thought."

"Come to think of it," Hamtaro said, bringing a paw up to his mouth in thought. "Bijou's been acting real strange lately. She's yells at me more than Sandy now, it's really weird."

"Bijou yells?" Oxnard wondered. He held his sunflower seed above his head, trying to shield himself from the droplets of water hitting their heads. Maxwell did the same, only with his book; Panda and Cappy were huddled under Cappy's metal pot, while the other boys were drenched from head to toe, the rain pattering onto their fur and they shivered every time water hit them.

"Only if you get her angry enough," Panda answered quietly. A raindrop plummeted to his nose and he shuddered.

"It does seem a little strange," Maxwell noticed. "Wasn't Bijou the one who told Hamtaro and us to play outside?"

Hamtaro nodded and wrung his paws nervously together. "But that's not all, ham hams," he said somberly. "Pashmina and Sandy yelled at me too."

"Pashmina got really mad at me one day," Stan bragged and grinning broadly. "Probably 'cuz I was sitting next to Bijou, she was so jealous."

"That was because you spilt tea onto Bijou, Pashmina's best friend."

"Cappy, Cappy, Cappy… You've been spending too much time with Maxwell, the logic has demolished your common sense."

Boss clapped his paws together, signaling for everyone to stop their quarrels. He cleared his voice and boomed, "Obviously, the girls have changed. Hamtaro-" Hamtaro saluted him. "What were they talking about before you came over?"

Hamtaro tapped his chin with his paw. "Hmmm… Well, they were talking about creating some kind of invention thingy majig. And then they got really mad at me."

Boss nodded stiffly, processing the information, and turned to Howdy. "Howdy, what did you do to them?"

"Nothing, I swear!" Howdy defended, shaking his head. "I just told them this joke about a cat and dog and then Pashmina got mad at me for saying it was funny when Penelope twisted her ankle and then Bijou exploded at me and Sandy and Pashmina were all like "What the heke?" and then they kicked me out and now here I am with you idiot- I mean ham hams!"

"That was probably the longest run on sentence I've ever heard," Dexter mumbled.

"No!" Stan called. "_This _is the longest run on sentence you've ever heard." He took a deep breath while the other ham boys looked on in horror.

"I decided to take a walk one day because I'm so popular because all the ladies love me and I'm cool unlike some ham hams like Dexter and Hamtaro and I went inside this candy store and saw this hot chick there and she was licking a lollipop and I said, "Hey, babe, you wanna suck my own lollipop?" and then she smiled and then slapped me and walked out of the candy shop because I'm such a bad boy and then I got a Snickers bar and then went to the gym to work out because I'm buff and I worked out and I saw another hot chick and said, "Hey, wanna watch me work?" and she's made a sick face and ran out of the gym because my work was apparently too much for her and then I decided to go to a strip joint-"

"You're right, Stan!" Dexter complimented in a strange, mangled voice. "That is the longest run on sentence!" He then murmured, "Too bad I'll be dead when you finally finish it…"

"The sad part is that what he said was all true," Panda announced.

"How do you know that?!" Cappy squeaked under his pot.

"I'm more involved in stuff than you think," Panda replied stiffly.

"Like what?"

"You're too young to know."

"Focus, men!" Boss yelled, huddling everyone together. He took a quick glance at a tiger striped ham boy. "And Stan."

"Dude, I heard that!"

"Maxwell?" Boss sung.

"Sure thing, Boss." Maxwell slapped Stan upside the head with his book. Stan's eyes spaced out for a moment and then they snapped wide open.

"Don't let the squirrel touch my nuts!" he yelled and then fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Well, that takes care of him!" Howdy chuckled, seeming to fully recover at seeing the misery and pain of other hamsters, especially the one who always managed to flirt with Pashmina. Dexter couldn't disagree, it was a great sight to see Stan's tongue rolling out the side of his mouth and his eyes closed, out like a light.

"Well, Howdy was useless… In information anyway, jeez, Howdy." Boss corrected himself at the cold glare aimed at him. He turned back to the huddle and whispered, "The girls obviously have something up and we're going to find out what, right, men?"

"Yeah!" the boys all yelled and high fived each other. "The girls can do their worse, we're ready."

Too bad that they weren't ready for the rest of the events later that day.

* * *

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	2. The Sacrifices We Make

**I'M SO SO _SO_ SORRY ABOUT MY HIATUS! I WAS GROUNDED FOR A MONTH! BUT I'M BACK!**

I don't do this often, I just realized that. But I want to thank all who reviewed. Thanks so much, your support really helps!

**DolphinGoddess 17:** It totally makes me want to tear up, she's so nice to me. DG 17, I'm glad this is original and interesting, I'll try to throw in some plot twists.

**Theta Jones:** I'm glad you like this story even if I thought up the idea in less than two seconds! I hope I don't disappoint you…

**Wolfenheim:** Gosh, I HOPE this story has potential or else I won't ever finish it… And I'm still trying to improve my writing so pray that it gets better.

**Maxwell-Sandy-shrine123:** OMG, I just can't stop liking her pen name! Thanks so much for your review! (Yes, that line that Stan said was supposed to be sick. If it was gross, my work here is done, that's what I was aiming for!)

**theSongInside:** Hiya, buddy! Thanks for your review, I was seriously shocked at the all the favorites and alerts, I didn't know that you liked my stories that much! I hope you'll enjoy this story!

**Puppyluv3379: **Is this story really that good? Oh, goodness gracious, all right then… Thanks for your awesome review, it totally made my day!

**Butterfree: **It makes me so happy that you alerted this story and I hope that you enjoy this chappie!

**Bamy the ham-ham: **Well, I might not get into the end of Stan's run on sentence, mostly because it might turn this story into an M fic and we don't want that for our little people viewers, do we?

And a big thank you for the folks that read this story! You guys are awesome!

Disclaimer: I refuse to put this up anymore. I don't own Hamtaro. Or the song "It's a Girl Thing" by Jesse Lee. I will never put another disclaimer up because you all know that I don't own Hamtaro.

This chapter is dedicated to the album "American Saturday Night" by Brad Paisley, which made me continue to write this. I have been listening to this album the entire time I wrote this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

**The Sacrifices We Make**

_You think roses are a waste of time_

'_Cuz in three days,_

_They just wilt up and die_

_We want 'em anyway_

_It's a girl thing…_

Scrunched up against the giant oak tree, the ham boys plotted out every move, schemed all of the details, and conspired the hopeful outcome if they succeeded. They tried to find every flaw or gap that might lead to their demise, but there were none and they were proud that they could come up with something so deceitful, yet so brilliant in just a time span of thirty minutes. The only thing that was undecided was… which ham would execute the plan?

"Not me," Oxnard cried immediately. "I'm not exactly what you would call…" He pretended to think for a moment. "Stealthy."

"Or in shape," Howdy laughed. Oxnard's eyes brimmed with tears and little puddles shook out of them. The sound of his wail was like a bird throwing up and it rattled the others' ears. Some like Hamtaro and Boss tried to comfort their friend and tried to shush him.

"I-I vote Howdy to get killed by the girls!" the chubby hamster sobbed, pointing his sunflower seed at the laughing southerner.

"No way!" Howdy protested. "I already had enough near death experiences today, Cappy should go!"

"I don't even like girls," Cappy whined and ducked further under his pot. He pointed a paw at Maxwell. "Maxwell's the smart one, make him go!"

"Uh, I just make the plans. Boss, you're the strong one, shouldn't you go?" Maxwell said dryly, raising an eyebrow in Boss's direction.

"For the love of lab blocks, just _choose _someone, guys!" Panda scolded and scurried out the red pot he hid under. "I'll even be willing to do it if you would quit arguing!"

Each ham boy looked hopefully at Panda. The black and white hamster finally seemed to realize his position in the situation and backed up a little. Giving a half smile, he said, "B-But, maybe Stan would be more willing. I just like to build things after all, heh heh…"

"I can do it!" Hamtaro bravely volunteered. He crouched down in some sort of an attack stance. "I know DDR! Laura dances to that song all the time!"

"That's not going to help us. And besides, DDR is a game," Boss said and Hamtaro hunched his shoulders down, disappointed he didn't make the part. "But Stan _does _like to do anything that'll impress Pashmina or Bijou so… he's perfect!"

"Perfect and unconscious," Maxwell pointed out sadly. Stan was still laying perfectly unconscious on the ground, not showing any signs of waking up soon.

"Geez, Mr. Negative," Howdy sneered. "That can be changed, hold your horses."

Howdy got on all fours and whispered something in Stan's ear. "Stan… This is Sparkle. I think you're hoooooot…"

Stan didn't wake up. He sat as still as before, not moving his head a bit. Howdy snapped his fingers together, muttering a quick "Darn", and whispered something else, his face expressionless. The other ham boys strained to make out whatever their squinty friend was saying.

"Stan, you've won a date with Bijou," Howdy cooed. Stan's ear twitched a little, but the tiger striped hamster still didn't rise from the ground. Howdy swore under his breath and hissed the last line that he could ever come up with.

"Sandy's making out with Dexter."

"_What?!_" Stan yelled out, eyes snapping open. He looked wildly around, eyes darting this way and that. "Oh, my fricking G, I have to get a picture!"

Boss held Stan back from entering the clubhouse and wrecking their well thought out plan. Stan struggled and wildly tried to get free of Boss's grip, but the older hamster was much too strong for him. Boss sighed and threw Stan at the tree, pinning him to the bark.

"Wha-What? Where am I?" Stan asked, tripping over his tongue as he jerked his head back and forth. Looking at each hamster, he screamed, "Who are you ugly people?!"

"Listen, Stan," Boss growled. "We need you to do a favor for us. Do you remember what happened before you were knocked out?"

Stan shook his head with a confused face. Boss sighed and rubbed his temples. He heaved in a deep breath and said, "Well, we want you to… get to know Bijou for a while."

Stan's eyes were as wide as saucepans. Stuttering and eyes ablaze with hope, he squeaked, "Just by myself? With _Bijou_?"

Hamtaro shrugged and said, "Well, Pashmina is going to be there too. And I doubt that Sandy or Penelope would be a problem, they wouldn't get in the way if Bijou or Pashmina liked talking to you."

If Stan was a balloon, he would have popped. His eyes were swelled up and he stuffed his cheeks with air, finally exhaling as the words reached his ears. Darting towards the entrance of the clubhouse, he waved his paw in the air as a way to dismiss himself. "I'll see you in a week!" he called over his shoulder.

"Hold it!" Panda halted Stan to a stop and whipped out a tiny earphone. Shoving it hastily into Stan's ear, he explained, "This'll let us know what's going on. Just speak into this microphone-" He wrapped a wristband around Stan's paw. "-To communicate with us. I, as our tech coordinator, will listen from the other end while the rest of us will be taking notes on the girls' behavior."

"Oh, trust me," Stan sighed, licking his paw and brushing it through his fur. "Bijou and Pashmina's behavior will be _much _different after my little visit."

"Stan," Boss sighed and rolled his eyes. "This is just to get to see what is wrong with the girls and why they've changed so much. If you even _try_ to flirt with either of them, we'll snatch you right out of there. Just ask Pashmina a couple of questions."

Stan sent out a curious look at him. "Why Pashmina? I thought you said that I could flir- I mean talk to Bijou too."

"Bijou needs to calm down a little," Dexter elucidated, gesturing with his paws. He said this with a bit of stuffiness and Howdy couldn't help but agree with him. Stan wasn't very trustworthy with handling Pashmina on his own, away from their sight. It was enough to make both of them throw up. "After her little outbursts at Hamtaro and Howdy, I think Pashmina will be a bit kinder towards us."

"Besides," Maxwell announced, stepping up. "Hamtaro told us that Bijou was the epicenter of this little phase and she would get suspicious if we starting questioning her. Pashmina, with Penelope around, has to set a good example in front of her little sister so it's unlikely she would resort to violence. And no offense Stan, but Sandy wouldn't like it very much if you asked why she was angry all the time."

"Ah, it's fine," Stan said, waving it off with a brandish of his paw. However, with a suspicious look, he said, "Dudes, but what if the girls start suspecting me? I can't just go up to them and say, 'Hey, stop acting weird' and listen to _that _answer."

"_You're_ the flirt," Boss hissed through gritted teeth and poked Stan in the chest. "_You're_ the one who said that you can, and I quote, 'Stimulate any chick, anytime, anywhere besides my sister'. Do what you do best Stan. And I mean at Pashmina."

Stan seemed to stand a little taller and he grinned sheepishly. Dexter and Howdy cursed under their breath. "Well, all righty then!" Stan laughed. "What am I waiting for? Here I go, for the boys, and for the stimulation!"

Boss stared at him a long time. "I'm talking about Pashmina."

"I know, dude! Like, I'm so siked!" Stan clapped his paws together and pumped them into the air. He raced off down to the front door of the clubhouse while the boys looked on. After making sure that Stan was on the premises, they all scattered to their certain positions except for a distraught Boss.

"… I WAS TALKING ABOUT PASHMINA!" he called down, sickened to visualize Stan flirting with Bijou.

* * *

"All right, earphone… Check… Microphone… Check…" Stan mumbled as he paced down the clubhouse tunnel, listing off everything he could think of and making sure that everything was in order. He stopped dead in his tracks at the clubhouse door and looked inside. He saw the four ham girls crowded around the table, Bijou jotting something down on paper. His brow furrowed in confusion as his mind raced with whatever the girls were planning. Before he reached for the doorknob, however, he thought of something else.

"Breath," Stan listed and breathed on his paw, lifting it up to his nose. His face fell and he shrugged. "Doable."

With that, he opened the door.

Four heads jolted up and four mouths dropped at seeing Stan leaning against the doorway. Stan smiled casually and took a step forward. Bijou's eyes were narrowed to slits while Pashmina hugged Penelope, protecting her from the danger of a flirt. Sandy's eyes flitted to her ribbon sitting on Boss's armchair, but the thought of her fist hitting Stan's nose was much more enjoyable than tying him up in a simple ribbon.

"Hey there, ladies!" Stan greeted, waving a paw. He cast a dark look at Sandy. "And my sister."

His twin rolled her eyes and put her paws on the table, waiting for one of his terrible pick up lines. Bijou and Pashmina looked at each other uneasily just as Penelope scribbled some doodles onto their paper. The French girl of the group seemed to just realize that the paper was still out on the table and seized it in her paws, putting it behind her back.

Meanwhile, Panda had set up a secret room, ideal for headquarters as the boys planned and schemed. Boss had always dug some rooms that weren't necessary and Panda had decided that this chamber was perfect, as the girls didn't know where it was. As every other boy piled up books and other resources onto dusty tables, Panda whipped out a microphone and snapped a pair of headphones onto his ears. He tuned into what Stan was saying and he almost exploded in fury.

"So, you two gonna show me that sheet behind your back? I'll give you a kiss if you show it to me-" Stan was flirting again, to his disgust.

_"Stan!"_ Panda hissed into the microphone. His distraught voice caught the attention of everyone in their secret headquarters. _"Don't put it like that, ask them for a cup of tea!"_

Stan brought his wrist to his mouth and whispered into the secret microphone, "Did you just say a cup of the sea?"

_"No, you idiot!"_ Boss's voice burst into Stan's ear, nearly deafening the hamster._" Tea! As in tea to drink, tee for golf!"_

Stan frowned in confusion and turned to Pashmina. He took a deep breath, not knowing why the boys would tell him such a thing. He then said, as loud as his lungs could force out, "I would like a cup of pee please."

"_What_?" Pashmina said, backing away a little bit.

"Uh, I mean… I mean…" Stan wracked his brain for what the ham boys had said. "I mean I want a bee- Wait, no, I want me… See, dee, lee, tea…? That's it! I want a cup of tea! That's what I want! Tea, tea, tea, without pee, tea!"

He chuckled uneasily at his position and Pashmina gaped. Again, she backed up a little and staggered towards the kitchen. Before disappearing through the doors though, she popped her head out, saying, "Would you like green or black tea?"

"Green," Stan replied quickly, taking a seat onto one of the stools. Bijou and Sandy stared at him for a long time, trying to comprehend Stan's strange behavior. He used to be so calm…

"Bij, don't you think that we should go out and, like, find the materials for the-" Sandy started and Stan's ears perked up.

"Project!" Bijou interrupted, taking a quick glance at Stan's curious eyes. "Of course, vee need to find supplies for zee project, let's go. Come 'ere, Penelope, let's go find materials for zee _project._"

"Ookyoo!" Penelope agreed, trotting out the door with Sandy and Bijou, leaving Stan positioned on the stool.

"Okay, Stan, here's your tea," Pashmina mumbled and nearly threw the cup of tea into Stan's lap. She didn't seem to notice that she was all alone with _Stan._

Taking a seat on the couch, she asked casually, "Hey, where's Penelope? And Bijou and Sandy?"

"Uh, they went outside to gather the materials for the… project," Stan said, trying to find the right words and sipped his cup of tea. He almost spat it out when he caught sight of Pashmina's horrified face.

"They left me here?" she screamed, paws up to her mouth in terror. "With _you_? _Alone_?"

Stan managed a tiny smile. Setting his tea down onto the table in front of him, he chuckled, "Pretty much. But I don't bite."

Pashmina almost turned green. She got up from her chair and excused herself to call the SWAT team, eyes popping out of her sockets. She fiddled with her scarf a little, loosening it to get some air while Stan watched curiously. He smirked, knowing he had already gotten her nervous. Too bad he couldn't have cherished the moment…

_"Stan!"_ one of the ham boys, most likely Panda, yelled into his ear-bud. "_What was that? Are you deaf, man?!"_

"No way!" Stan retorted, hissing into his own microphone. "The reception is totally bogus, dude, who the heck did the Wi-Fi on this?"

All Stan heard were a couple yells of "Hamtaro!" before Panda starting talking to him again. _"Can you hear me now?"_

"No, Panda. I can't hear you," Stan chortled.

_"Oh, then we need to go find someone- Wait! You can hear me just fine!"_ Panda complained. He thought for a moment before cautiously saying into the microphone, _"Are the ham girls there right now?"_

"No," Stan answered, wondering why he would ask such a question. "Bijou, Penelope, and Sandy left to get some materials for their little project and Pashmina headed to the bathroom." He thought for a moment. "Why do you ask?"

_"Because, Stan,"_ Panda sighed into his microphone, voice quivering. _"I'm thinking that Pashmina or one of the girls is interfering with our signal. One of them could be wearing some kind of software that's crashing our connection."_

"Well, one way to find out!" Stan cheered and put his arm down as Pashmina waddled back into the room. He smiled at her and said, "Hey, Pash, you wouldn't happen to have one of those fancy cell phones or something techy like that, would you?"

With a puzzled look on her face, Pashmina replied, "Well, Bijou managed to give me a walkie-talkie to talk to her…" She bolted right up, eyes wide with fear. "B-But it's not like we're using it for some secret project or organization thing, it's… it's just for fun."

Stan's mouth curved into an 'o' and he didn't speak despite hearing Panda's shouts ringing in his ears. A walkie-talkie? _That_ was the device used to interfere with the communication with him and his hammos? Stan would have slapped himself if Pashmina wasn't looking, the idea was completely idiotic. Unless she was lying about the walkie-talkie…

"Are you sure that it's a walkie-talkie? Not some cell phone or computer?" Stan questioned, stiffly taking the tea cup.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure that it's just a walkie-talkie," Pashmina said immediately. She answered it fast. Way too fast and Stan already had his suspicions on whether or not trust the once sweet girl known as Pashmina. Jumping to his feet, he quickly excused him outside, leaving a confused ham girl.

"Panda," Stan hissed into his microphone. Now that Pashmina was out of the room and couldn't interfere with the waves, he could speak to his team in peace. "Panda, she _does_ have some kind of techy thingy that's been crashing our reception. Dude, this isn't good, how the heck am I supposed to carry out the plan?"

_"Don't worry, Stan. Just get out of there, we'll set up a new plan."_

"Stan! Stan, can you help me with this box please?" Pashmina called from the clubhouse, making the tiger striped boy ham freeze in his steps.

"Dude!" Stan almost screamed into the microphone. "She just asked me to get inside, fix this thing or I'll give you something to really fix!"

_"All right, all right! We'll get right on it! In the meantime, just act natural!"_ Panda's voice was just about as panicked as Stan's right now, his tone bizarre and voice going up two octaves.

"Stan!" Pashmina rang out from the other room and Stan had no other choice but to follow her. Managing to open the door and to not lose his footing, he stepped inside to see Pashmina with a box in her hands, struggling to keep the heavy object above the floor.

"Stan, could you help me, please?" Pashmina huffed, one eye closed as the box smashed into her face.

Then, to Stan's horror, Panda was speaking into the microphone again.

_"Okay, we fixed it, Stan! Go ahead and-"_

With a _kkkkkkkksssssssssshhhhhhh_, Panda's voice died out and Stan was left to continue picking at his ear like some kind of idiot. Sweating, he speedily grabbed the box and threw it at the couch and Pashmina blinked, confused.

"Uh, I have to go, Pashmina!" Stan yelled, slapping his ear as more static hissed into his microphone.

"Stan," Pashmina said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you slapping yourself?"

"Uh, um…" Stan murmured. "I have a tiny glitch. In my ear."

Rolling her eyes, Pashmina replied. "I believe it. But, hey, let me see your ear. Maybe I can help you. Does it hurt?"

"N-No!" Stan cried, taking an awkward step backward and tried to rub his ear with his neck. The static had really gotten to his head and he found the sound more painful than annoying. "Um, I promised the guys that I'd finish my run on sentence so I have to go!"

"Stan," Pashmina began as Stan started to make a run for it. "Come back! I want to help you!"

With amazing speed, Pashmina bolted in front of Stan, blocking the doorway while Stan picked at his ear. She spread her arms wide across the door with a stern look on her face, meaning she meant business and worse, Stan was still slamming his ear.

"No, I'm fine!" Stan protested, trying to get past her. Soon, he started pounding his head on the wall. "I think I have a flea in my ear, so I have to go Doctor Lion so I can tell him what's wrong with him- I mean, pick out the microphone- I mean pee! Wait, no, I mean-"

"Flea?"

"Thanks, babe."

With a concerned look in her face, she peeked into Stan's ear, but was pushed back as Stan made a grab for the handle.

"Stan!" Pashmina screamed. "I just want to help you out! You're all twitchy and not like yourself, what's up?"

_"Hey, Stan! I- _kkkkssshhhh- _think_- kkkkssssshhhhhhh-_ we finally-_ KSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_-"_ Stan's ear rang.

Making a face, Pashmina said, "Did your ear just talk?"

"It babbles," Stan said quickly. "But I think the flea just wants to go die, we have to go to Doctor Lion now to get him removed from my eardrum."

_"Stan! Go ahead and-_kkkkksssshhhhh-_ her!"_ the earpiece rang.

"And my flea buddy just asked me to kish you!" Stan laughed uneasily, half joking, half blushing.

"Kish me?" Pashmina asked, cocking her head to the side. "Don't you mean kiss- MMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMPPPPHHHHHH!!!"

Before she could say another word, Stan locked his lips with hers and Pashmina's eyes widened, bulging out of their sockets then closed as she moved her mouth with his. While her tongue danced with Stan's, her eyes snapped open and she pushed him away.

"Pervert!" she screamed and tossed Stan out.

* * *

I could so imagine that last scene.

That wasn't funny, I'm sorry.

R&R!

Oh, I also put a new pole up! I finally got to put that in a story, haha! VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

I'm doing a spoiler because I want you to see the pattern with who stars in each chapter.

Next time... Maxwell's taking Sandy out on a date in a lame attempt to see what's up with his hamgirl and her friends. Will he prevail? Stay tuned, kk?


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